


And We Are Left Standing

by Nevanna



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Missing Scene, Other, Power Imbalance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 16:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: After Duke Roger's death, Alex is expected to make a choice.





	And We Are Left Standing

**Author's Note:**

> There are a number of factors that led me toppling headfirst into an obsession with this pairing, but I am not really surprised I did.
> 
> Many thanks to Elle for telling me that she'd read Tortallverse fic if I wrote it, and to the October Project for retroactively coming through with yet another perfect fic title.

Alex went as cold and still as ice when Roger died.

 _When Alan_ – Alanna – _killed him_.

Even as he is questioned about his part in the Duke’s conspiracy, he isn’t sure whether he will ever thaw.

“You were once his squire,” Prince Jonathan says, and his voice is quiet and precise, like a finely cut gem. “You spent more time with him than anybody at Court, and he trusted you as he trusted few others.”

 _I know things about your cousin that would shatter your princely calm,_ Alex thinks but doesn’t say. _You all admired his skill with a sword and the perfection of his magical gestures. Shall I tell you what else he could do with his hands?_

But that’s the last thing that Jonathan wants to know, of course. He wants to hear the extent of Roger’s plans, the identities of his accomplices, and whether Alex can be counted among them.

If Alex claims to have been magically compelled, will they believe him? Can they prove that it isn’t true?

 _Can_ I _be certain that it isn’t?_

Whenever he has thoughts like that, he balances equations in his head until he starts to calm down.

“Remember that you swore an oath, Sir Alexander.” 

_Roger will never say my name again. He will never smile at me from across a chessboard, never whisper his plans and praise and promises in my ear…_

The numbers line up behind his closed eyelids.

Jonathan shapes each syllable with a deliberate coldness of his own. “In the name of the friendship that we’ve shared, I will give you a few minutes to collect yourself. But if you’re truly loyal to the Realm, to the Code of Chivalry, and to my family, you will give us whatever information that you can.”

_…and I will never feel the pleasure of his hands again._

“Alex?” Jonathan’s voice wavers with exhaustion. “Please make the right choice.”

Whether those words are a request or a royal command, Alex knows that he made his choice a long time ago.


End file.
